[Flare]

Yesh
Post all your lame jokes here
Here is 1:

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

lal.

[Flare]

O here is another 1
Smexual tho:

An executive with a new young wife and a yen for golf decided about
December one year that he couldn't take it any longer.

So he said to his wife one evening, "Honey, next Friday we're going to
Hilton Head for the weekend. We'll get a condo on the golf course and
I'm going to play golf all weekend."

"That sounds fine," she purred. And, sure enough, next Saturday
morning at 6 a.m., found him on the golf course, all alone.

After playing two holes, he noticed a man carrying a golf bag walking
toward him across a fairway.

The exec. waited, and the other man arrived, saying, "Mind if I play along?"

The exec. said, "Fine. Glad to have the company."

All went well for a couple of holes, until each approached the sixth
green. When the new fellow laid down his clubs, the cover came off one
club.

The exec. noticed, however, that it wasn't a club at all. It was a
high powered rifle.

"Whoa," he said. "That's a high powered rifle!"

"Look," said the other man. "I'm not out to cause any trouble. If you
want me to leave, I will. No hard feelings."

"No. No," said the exec. "I'm just curious as to why you have a
high-powered rifle in your bag."

The other man pondered for a moment and then said, "Well, I'll tell
you. It's my business. It's what I do for a living."

"Wow," said the other. "I've heard about guys like you, but I've never
met one before."

"Still want me to play?" said the other.

"Sure," said the Erie exec. "As a matter of fact, you know, I do a
little hunting. Would you mind if I look at it?"

The other man showed him the rifle. It was beautiful--an inlaid
Weatherby with a huge powerful scope mounted on it.

The exec. picked it up, looked through the scope, and said, "Gee, I
can see the window of my condo with this thing. Matter of fact,
there's my wife." He lowered the gun for a moment and said, "she
doesn't have any clothes on." He looked through the scope again.
"Damn, there's a guy with her."

The Erie exec. lowered the rifle and looked at the other man. "How
much do you charge?"

"$10,000 a bullet," said the man.

The Erie man thought for a moment, and said, "Do it."

"Which one?" said the hit man.

"Both," said the exec.

"That's $20,000, you know."

"I don't care, hit 'em both."

The hit man took two cartridges from his bag and loaded the rifle.
"Where do you want me to get the man?" he asked.

"Blow his nuts off" said the exec.

"How about the woman?"

"In the mouth. She's always flapping her gums anyway."

"Ok," said the hit man as he raised the rifle. Taking careful aim, he
clicked off the safety, but then he paused and chuckled. "Mister," he
said, "I think I'm going to be able to save you ten thousand dollars."

[lcarus]

things get boring if they're too long, k?

[Flare]

^Stop being so lazy.

[Goaty]

so... shes a lesbian?

[Rax]

Want lame jokes ?
Here:

2 penguins
one says to another *dude!?! your a penguin!*
other one says *dude!! penguins cant speak.*

[chicka]

i don't get it. But i got one for you.


Why did the chicken cross the road?
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.
.
.
.
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.
.
Cuz its cannibalistic and wanted marqs KFC!! lolz

[GellBell]

i gots one but its r@c1st

whats the difference between a black guy n a bench?
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.
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the bench can support a family!@@!!ONE1121

This post has been edited by GellBell: 09 September 2009 - 07:37 PM

[xKrence]

"He asked for it"

A man had six children and was very proud of his achievement.

He was so proud of himself, that he started calling his wife,"Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they went to a party. The man decided that it was time to go home and wanted to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouted at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouted right back, "Any time you're ready, FATHER OF FOUR!!!"

[xKrence]

"Son and Dad"

Boy: Daddy?? how did i come into this world???

Dad: listen carefully. Mom and dad met each other in a cyber cafe. In the restroom of the cyber cafe, dad connected to mom. Mom at that time made some downloads from dad's memory stick. when dad finished uploading. we discovered we did not use firewall. Since it was too late to cancel or delete, nine months later we ended up with a virus!!!

[xKrence]

What is the chemical formula for water???...

Little Johnny's teacher asks, "What is the chemical formula for water?"

Little Johnny replies, "HIJKLMNO"!!

The teacher, puzzled, asks, "What on Earth are you talking about?"

Little Johnny replies, "Yesterday you said it was H to O!"

[Wolf]

Little Johnny was in his 2nd grade class when the teacher asked Johnny, "If there were 5 birds sitting on a fence and i shot one off, how many would be left?" To which Johnny answered, "none, once the gun shot goes off, they would all fly away"
Actually Johnny the correct answer is 4, but i like the way u think!"
Johnny then stands up and says, "K, Mrs., i got one for you...there are 3 women sitting on a bench eating ice cream cones. The first one is licking the cone, the second one is sucking the cone and the third one is biting the cone. Which one is married?"
The teacher, all embarrassed, says, " Well johnny i guess the one sucking the cone."

To which Johnny replies, " No, the one with the wedding ring. But I like the way u think!!"

This post has been edited by Wolf: 11 December 2009 - 05:25 PM